New Updates

Freshness theses:

1. I'm up in this bitch like I'm Martin Luther. Fresh page. New flow. The flow will find itself. It'll get off track. It'll find itself again.

2. While talking to J on the phone yesterday I realized that public secrets needed to die. You can work with dead things, but too many things had happened to keep it alive. Now I can finally write the footnotes.

3. The blank page is exciting. The scroll to come. Not the book to come but the scroll to come.

4. "I Stay Fresh. I Stay Fresh." - DJ Nate, #KILOS. Epochal song honestly. "If you weren't with me smokin' mid, you ain't gang for real / Ain't even got time to fuck this thot, gotta catch this plane for real / I'm steady smokin' OG blunts, tryna get this pain to heal / If you not out on your grind, you in the way for real / These bitches they ain't for real, these niggas been hatin' still"

5. Really it is all about building the writing machine again. The last one generated a lot for a while, then I got sick. I didn't want to write about being sick and I didn't have the space to write about being sick. And E shared the blog w/ someone who knows me from twitter and it's the parasocial thing that's made Twitter weird and I texted her about it and I have to deal with this thing of being 'public' on the sense of what writing is, what publishing is, its etymology, the Blanchot, and of course the publishing to come, but she said he was starstruck that she was friends with me and it's weird to me that people would get starstruck over a thing like that, partially because I've been past being starstruck for years, but it's not just that so much as the weight of all those words stacked up on top of each other. Now things are flowing again.

6. In the morning the sun will rise. The fog will lift. Things will be written, things will be inscribed. I gotta inscribe, I gotta stack some bread.

7. With the freshness comes new form. Things will be different. Things will change because things have changed - which is beautiful.

8. I feel really good about the music I've been making. I really noticed it while making a track on Garageband and using the keyboard to play the drums and I'd unlocked a certain level of rhythm with that interface that I never had before. Like I'm really cooking. M texted me about what I'm doing without any experience / technique and how it comes from my ear / years of listening and I talked about it with J because the approach I still have right now, with music, with painting, is really just Based Freestyling. I do something, I see where it takes me, then I do something else in accordance to that, to make it right. Not everybody freestyles. There's a Leaf Ward interview where he talks about how Quanny will spend 6 hours on a single song, repeating his delivery of a line over and over and over again.

9. I got paid for a show and bought some work yea cuz I'm trapped out.

10. Bitch I’m on the road to a million dollars I got it mapped out

11. While freestyling, certain elements get formalized into a process. It's how I made the cover art for soundcloud upload I GOT PAID FOR A SHOW AND BOUGHT SOME WORK

12. The process included watercolors + ink on paper, photographing it, editing it in Illustrator. All of those stages leave space for freestyles. But there's a studio process. That's what'll happen here. I cooked a process with public secrets. It was bussin for a minute, now I gotta change the flow. I gotta cook different

I'm moving to Chicago at the end of this month. I talked to P, he told me it's cool if I stay in one of his extra bedrooms for November and then housesit for the following 3 months while he's in the UK doing research. God bless him. It gives me a runway to get things back in order. I've struggled to write here, to make here, as I usually do, there isn't space and there isn't silence despite how much space there is and how quiet it is here.

I unpacked a bunch of art I made while living in the Bay. There was this 9 piece series of prints that made a collage that had Drake and crying emojis on it that I briefly posted on my IG story before I deactivated my socials. I thought about the time I was losing. Today I read Blanchot's When the Time Comes - I thought about Bergson and Proust and there's an essay to be written that I can't write right now. What would be the purpose of writing such an essay? A genuine question. I think about what Donnelly did to cinema with Untitled, how quietly it was done.

I'm listening to the new Drake. Classic. It's so quiet, it's so loud. It's crazy to think about Drake, this Moment in Time, the sea of Soundcloud, the Yeat feature and how it's a moment but 5 2 üh 60 is a better collab track but it's not a Drake song, and the AI to come, Flusser and technical images, the ways we make, the ways we manipulate, the Dall-e 3 renders I made of Meek Mill eating french fries by the swimming pool, and Drake is really singing on this shit.

What is a classic? What is happening to time?

I been tryin' to have some patience. Told my mama she should pray on it. Told the streets they gotta wait on it.